I am not a person in long-term recovery, but I have not had an alcoholic beverage since August 16, 2015. The last time I was intoxicated was in 2008, I believe. It was while on a wine tour in Italy, and the grappa did me in. Not a good last day in Florence, and I learned my lesson.
Truth be told, I’m not positive that this is the last day I had a drink. I know that I stopped drinking in August, and I know the year based on other circumstances. I’ve kept a gratitude journal in the same format for over thirteen years, so I was able to go back and guesstimate the last time I had a drink…which was an amaretto and sour that my stepdaughter made me. I had decided on August 12, 2015, to never drink again because I determined that I could be a better role model for those who couldn’t drink socially than I could for those who did drink socially, but because I don’t suffer from the disease of addiction I didn’t make a big deal about stopping. Later in the week I went to my stepdaughter’s house, and she had already poured the drink, and, just because I didn’t want to be rude, I drank it.
Which brings me to the point of this blog: what does “recovery” look like? I grew up with the belief that the only recovery is abstinence, but I’ve also seen my fair share of people who were abstinent and not in recovery. All around me I saw people who had the disease of addiction and who had periods of sobriety and then would return to use…mostly drinking. So my idea of what recovery looks like is based on that…abstinence.
But the definition from the government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration…SAMHSA…is different. First, recovery is defined as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential.” SAMHSA goes on to explain the four major pillars, or “dimensions,” of recovery. They are health, which is defined as “Overcoming or managing one’s disease(s) or symptoms, and making informed, healthy choices that support physical and emotional well-being”; home, which is defined as “having a stable and safe place to live”; purpose, which is defined as “conducting meaningful daily activities, such as a job, school volunteerism, family caretaking, or creative endeavors, and the independence, income, and resources to participate in society”; and community, which is defined as “having relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.” (SAMHSA.gov)
So abstinence isn’t a specific part of recovery, but is actively using mood-altering substances that are not used as prescribed a part of recovery? If we look at addiction as the chronic, progressive, lethal brain disease we say we believe it is, then is a person who considers himself to be in recovery but uses mood-altering substances not used as a prescribed really in recovery?
Three times in the last week I’ve heard people say they are in recovery AND talk about the substances they currently misuse. For example, one person said he is in recovery from alcohol addiction but uses cannabis several times a day. Another person said he’s in recovery from heroin but drinks alcohol regularly and uses cannabis daily. A final one said he’s in recovery and can’t ever use cocaine again but may be able to drink. The question, therefore, isn’t about abstinence; it’s about RECOVERY. Can a person with addiction – a chronic, progressive, lethal brain disease – embrace the four pillars of recovery, health, home, purpose, and community, while still suffering the effects of the chronic, progressive, lethal addiction?
This is one of the many reasons why Alcoholics Anonymous describes addiction as being “cunning, baffling, powerful.” (12step.org) But there are more reasons.
Just as determining whether someone is in recovery can only be determined by the person seeking recovery, so can the effects of the 4 Cs of addiction (https://the4csofaddiction.wordpress.com/) only be determined by that person. Those are:
Compulsion: An irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation
Cravings: A consuming desire; a yearning
Consequences: Punishment or negative repercussions
Control: An inability to hold in restraint or to check
But friends and family can help! We can identify consequences that the individual may not want to see; we can point out concern about compulsion; we can even go so far as to encourage direct biomarker drug testing to illustrate lack of control. Testing shouldn’t be a gotcha, but it IS a way to help people stop tricking themselves into believing they are only using “a little.”
Addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful disease like no other. Let’s use the tools we have to combat it.
References
https://12step.org/references/the-big-book/chapter-5/
https://the4csofaddiction.wordpress.com/2022/11/03/hello-world/
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/recovery#4-dimensions-recovery
Guided by Guida 
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